Shame

The sermon we heard in church today was extremely powerful.  We have been going through a series called "Veneer" where we've been talking about the veneer that is all around us.  Today we talked about shame and how shame is not from God.  Those were powerful words to me.  This song came to mind as he was preaching....

                                                             "Come As You Are"

Come out of sadness
From wherever you’ve been
Come broken hearted
Let rescue begin
Come find your mercy
Oh sinner come kneel
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal

So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home
You’re not too far
So lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are

There’s hope for the hopeless
And all those who’ve strayed
Come sit at the table
Come taste the grace
There’s rest for the weary
Rest that endures
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t cure

So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home
You’re not too far
So lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are
Come as you are
Fall in his arms
Come as you are
There’s joy for the morning
Oh sinner be still
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal

So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh wanderer come home
You’re not too far
So lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are
Come as you are
Come as you are

The last time I heard this song, I was in the car and it just brought me to a full-blown cry.  These are powerful words and they seriously go straight to my heart.  No matter where we've been, or how bad or long we've stayed - we are always welcome at the table and grace is always given.  God loves us no matter what.  There will always be consequences for our actions of course, and God will be the judge of those - but He will always love His children.  And we were given a specific commandment from Jesus - to love one another.  Or as Tom said today "Love First".  What would our world look like if we all just chose to love first and leave judgement out?  What would our relationships look like?  I'm no expert but I think things would look dramatically different.

Shame is so dangerous.  I let it get to me too much sometimes.  Like if I lose my cool with my kids at a breaking point and get too upset and yell.  It will literally eat at me for days.  I'll feel like the worst parent and the thoughts consume me and tie my stomach up into knots.  Those thoughts - that shame, they are NOT from God. I AM a good mom, I just made a poor choice to yell when I shouldn't. None of us are perfect.  I needed this sermon today.  The whole church service today was exactly what I needed today and God knew it.  Are you ever singing a song and it just brings you to tears?  That happened to me today in church and I had to do everything I could to not let the tears flow which now seems really counter intuitive to the whole "veneer" series... I can't explain it, something just comes over me....call it The Holy Spirit?.  I'm so thankful for our church and for the amazing pastors that we have.

I'm going to keep working on being as real as possible.  I'm not going to let the pressure of being "veneer" to keep up with the world's or society's expectations of what I should be as a woman, mother, wife, and friend steer me to be something that I'm not.  I'm going to be the person that God made me to be.  And if that doesn't go with the norm, or if that means sharing some personal information, or doing things differently - then I'm going to do it.