There are all sorts of different seasons of "hard" in our lives. We face different trials as we go through this journey and they can all be so different - but the hurt can be the same.
We can all be going through our own crap right now....and there will always be someone out there who has it worse than you. But one thing I've learned is - NEVER feel guilty for FEELING YOUR FEELINGS. All hurt, hurts.
The hard stuff I'm going through right now seems so pale in comparison to other problems in the world - so I can't even really call it "hard". But like I said - hurt is hurt, right?
I'm an over-analyzer, a recovering people pleaser, a deep thinker, I feel ALL the feels. I feel other people's feels, which often hurts worse than feeling my own. I obsess about certain things. I put ALL of myself out there on social media to serve what I truly believe to be one of my callings to help other people. Most of the time my heart is filled with such love and blessings being able to talk to and work with and help so many people over the last few years.
But with the public eye and with dealing with people so much - negativity is bound to happen.
People you thought were your friends might turn against you. And it hurts. Really, really bad. The first thing you feel is betrayal and heartbreak. You feel guilty because you feel like you must have done something wrong. Then you get angry because you feel your character is being attacked. Then you feel guilt again because you let your emotions get the best of you when you got angry. Then you just feel sad again.
Last week I was so knocked down I honestly felt like giving up everything I was doing. Quitting it all and cancelling facebook and EVERYTHING and just go away quietly so I didn't have to get hurt anymore.
But what good would that do? I still feel like I'm called to help people. I LOVE working. I love helping people to live healthier and happier lives. I'm LOVING my new boutique and being able to help women find cute and affordable clothes that they feel confident in without having to go out and go shopping.
So why should I quit any of that because of other people? No way Jose.
But I still have days where my heart feels heavy. Where I obsess about what I might have done wrong. Things I could have done differently. Of course I never claim to be perfect. If anyone does - they are a liar. I make mistakes. I don't always think before I act or before I talk. But one thing I can promise is that my intentions are ALWAYS pure.
I ALWAYS want to see others succeed and I NEVER think that if I have success that it will take away from someone else's.
I do everything I can to lift other people up - especially other women trying to do their own thing.
I've already had a few people come to me asking me for help on starting their own businesses. Businesses that would be JUST like mine. And I am SO FREAKING HAPPY to help them. I will do whatever I can in my life to help other people reach their own success. Because when you see me post things on facebook about lifting others up and empowering other women...I truly mean it and I will walk the walk if I talk the talk. ALWAYS. You can count on that.
I will never get jealous of your success, sister. Never. I will light your candle every single time I'm able to. Because lighting your candle will never dim mine!
I wrote a post on facebook last week when I was very, very hurt from a few (so called) friends who spoke untruths about me. I posted this in the heat of my frustration and hurt heart. Some people didn't think it was kind of me even though I didn't call anyone out by name. So I did take the post down. And for some reason all I can think about today is how much I wish I would have just walked away from my phone and computer and just prayed instead. I apologize if I came across in a negative way or spread any negativity. I don't want to be that person and I will work harder at taking time to process emotions before I act on them.
Just know that if you follow me - I will always be my true self to you. I will share the good and the bad. My huge mess ups and my successes. And I will always be here to help or to listen in any way I can.
I will never claim to have my shit together. But I do promise that I will never give up and I will always be encouraging you to do the same.
Light those lights - and light the person next to you...please!
And be YOURSELF. With integrity and honesty. Thank you for reading loves.
xoxo,
Krysta Joelle
