Not this year. I'm trying to make the conscious decision to just stop worrying about all of the details. I want to enjoy this time with my family and I don't want all of the nonsense of this season to cloud what Christmas is really about. Will we be busy, driving a lot to and from Chesaning, missing naps, staying up late....yes. I used to get really stressed out about all of these things. But what is the point? It's so much more freeing and peaceful to just let it go and ENJOY. I know this may seem like a simple thing for some of you - but it's never been easy for me to just relax.
Sometimes we get a little bit sick looking around our house at all of the toys. It just seems like SO much. But when we have 9 years of Jenna's toys saved up, Christmas and birthday presents for 3 girls over the years....things just seem to get out of control. Especially when you have divorced families involved - because that always means more presents. We are definitely always thankful for the gifts and so are the girls - but it does get a little bit overwhelming to look at the sheer volume of stuff. We do donate things as they outgrow them, but sometimes it's hard to think about giving things away that were gifts from family members. Can you relate?
So this year we decided to go very light on the presents for our girls. We are putting our main focus on buying gifts for other children and families in need - and I can tell you something right now....it sure hasn't seemed stressful at all. It has been so incredibly fun. We have taken the girls shopping with us every time we get gifts for other families and it's so fun to see their excitement to do it. Yesterday we were doing some shopping for a little girl and Stella was just pumped about it. She told us later "I don't want a hamster or a dog anymore - I want to just get something for other kids with our money". You guys - she's THREE. This goes to show that they are never too young to learn what giving is all about.
Jesus calls us to spread his love. He commands us to love one another and to take care of each other. That doesn't seem like it should be so tough - but I feel like we definitely make it hard.
What is the point of this life if we don't focus on others? I don't want to just work and consume and pay bills and die. I want my life to be about so much more than that. I'm finally feeling like I'm listening to what God is asking of me and I feel like I'm really starting to understand my purpose in this life. When I took the girls to an assisted living home this week and we were visiting with elderly people we were just meeting - I couldn't help but flash forward in my mind. I was trying to envision myself in that wheelchair. When I'm in that position and I just sat there thinking back on my life - what did I want that playback to look like? I know what won't matter to me. It won't matter to me if I had a professional job I didn't enjoy making lots of money. It won't matter to me if I had a big, brand new house. It won't matter to me if I had name brand clothes. What will matter to me is knowing if I made ANY impact or not. Did I live my life with purpose. Did I try to be the hands and feet of Jesus? Did I go out of my way to help anyone? Did I show my children, by example, what it means to love one another the way Jesus commands us to? I'd rather think about these things now and do whatever I can so that when I'm in that chair years and years down the road - I don't have to regret what did or didn't happen.
We only get one shot at this life. I am vowing to make mine worth it.
Thanks for listening to what was on my heart tonight. I hope everyone else is having a wonderful holiday season so far. Let's all remember the true meaning of Christmas and spread some love and joy around.
