Ups and Downs

I feel like the last few weeks have been just a complete whirlwind.

Last week felt like an eternity, I'll tell you that much.

My Mom had (what it turned out to be) a mini stroke. So I traveled to the East side of the state twice last week. Thanks to God - she is doing well, is home and should not have permanent damage.

We had to put our dog to sleep last week too. It was heartbreaking and so hard. I still can't believe it. But we couldn't stand to see him in pain anymore.

Thankfully our girls have such rock solid faith and they believe that all of God's creatures go to heaven. I believe that too. Two nights ago all of us woke up and the girls both told me they had a dream about Beethoven, and so did I. I think it was a special sign. <3

I had someone say something not so nice to me. They did not mean it and they were going through a very tough time when they sent it to me, but it still got to me. You see, everything I do - all of the many many many hours I spend helping people....it's truly to help them. 90% of what I do isn't "required"....it's because this is where my heart is. And when someone questions that, it feels like a giant blow to my heart. And to what I've built.

So to say last week was emotional is an understatement.

I've been struggling since.

I think that when things are going super good. And you are out in the world spreading light and the love of Jesus....Satan, or the ego...whatever you call it....doesn't like that too much. So things get thrown at us to throw us off kilter. Oh and boy does it work sometimes.

I can go from feeling on top of the world to feeling completely defeated. You see I think a lot of it is the pressure I put on myself. I just want to help people SO BAD. I want them to do well and be happy and be healthy. But that doesn't always happen. People aren't ready sometimes and it's hard for me to not take that personally like I failed them somehow.

But the fact of the matter is...they have to show up for themselves. I can only do so much as a coach. I devote so much of my time supporting those who decide to show up every day. Both my challengers and my coaches.

Why am I even writing this or sharing this? I have no idea. I just really felt like I needed to write so I did :)

So much of my posts (yes I know there are a lot)...are positive and uplifting. Because that is what I'm about. But I also struggle. And I'm always working through things myself. Nothing just comes easy to me. So if you do see my posts....my workout posts, my clean eating posts, my positive posts - please don't think "oh I wish I had her will power or determination" or "I wish it was just easier for me like it is for her". Please don't think that. Because it's just not true.

Everything in life is a choice.

It's a choice to eat healthy or to not eat healthy.
It's a choice if you want to spend your money on clothes and purses, or a superfood nutrition shake.
It's a choice if you put your tennis shoes on and spend 30 minutes a day sweating, or if you just keep watching tv instead.
It's a choice if you are happy or not. TRUST ME. This one is a hard pill to swallow. Because I know what depression and anxiety is. But I also know that NOTHING will make you happy if you don't make the decision to be happy and thankful. Will it still be hard and can you still feel sad - YES. But you make a choice daily. Hourly....to let your circumstances control you or to make things better.

SMILE. I will try my best to as well <3

Fun Fitness Survey

1. What did you have for breakfast?

Well, I haven't eaten yet since it's 6:30 - but I'm going to have 2 eggs, sauteed spinach and some blackberries!

2. How much water do you drink in a day?

I usually aim to drink at least 1/2 of my body weight in ounces per day. But more often times than not I try to get in 80-100 - so more than my goal. Water is key people!!

3. What is your current favorite workout?

I do at home programs and I love it!! My current program is 22 Minute Hard Corps by Tony Horton and I do love it - but I would have to say my favorite programs of all time are 21 Day Fix, 21 Day Fix Extreme, and Hammer & Chisel. Strength training is my jam.

4. How many calories do you eat per day?

Honestly I don't count. I counted calories for a long time when I was focused on weight loss. Now I'm just focused on optimal health and being strong!! So I make sure to have the right balance of foods and follow my nutrition guides that come with my programs.  Following the portion fix system is one of the most effective ways I've ever learned to eat.

5. What are your favorite healthy snacks?

I love fruit, veggies w/ hummus, and larabars!

6. What do you usually eat for lunch?

Either my Shakeology with fruit, a big salad filled with greens or I'll make some sort of combination of lean protein, veggies and sweet potato. I am a little obsessed with sweet potatoes and eat them every day!

7. What is your favorite body part to strength train?

Legs for sure! I love having strong legs and I also don't mind the fact that you torch calories by working legs!

8. What is your least favorite body part to train?

Hmm..back? I don't really know. :)

9. What are your bad food cravings?

If I crave something, it's a salty or crunchy snack. Like trail mix (the naughty kind), or the animal crackers from Costco (seriously - can't have them in my house, they are like crack).

10. Do you take vitamins or supplements?

No - Shakeology takes care of all of that for me. And I'm NEVER sick because of it.

11. How often do you eat out?

Not very often unless me and my husband have date nights :)

12. Do you eat fast food?

Never. Ever.

13. Who is your biggest supporter?

My husband, Chad. He's been my biggest supporter since the day I met him. Some days that's not an easy role, but he does it best <3

14. Do you have a gym membership?

No, I work out at home and I love it so much!

15. How many hours of sleep do you get at night?

Not enough. Probably around 5-6.

16. Do you have a "cheat" day?

Not really. I just eat a balanced diet and follow the 80/20 rule. I allow myself treats and I don't have rigid rules all of the time.

17. Do you drink alcohol?

Yes, but I haven't had a drop in the last 6 weeks. I committed to no drinking for the entire 8 week duration of my current fitness program. Wow - it sure makes a difference on results.

18. Do you have a workout buddy?

My little girls are my favorite workout buddies! And my husband does sometimes too :) I also have tons of workout buddies in my online accountability groups I run!

19. What is the best thing that has changed about your life since you committed to a healthy lifestyle?

I have energy to play with my kids. I am not sick all the time like I was my WHOLE life. I have a new lens on life and I want to share it and help as many people as I possibly can through coaching them on how to live a healthy lifestyle.

20. What was the last healthy thing that you did?

Slept. :)