But the reality is - sometimes it's just really hard. Especially when I've always been a people pleaser. A fixer. A peace maker. The strong one when I felt anything but that at times in my life. You get the point.
I have made huge strides in the area of pleasing other people. I am much more comfortable just being myself without worrying what people think of me...and that's incredibly freeing. But I still feel like I have a lot of work to do in the area of feeling like I'm doing good enough.
Am I a good enough wife?
Am I a good enough mom?
Am I a good enough Christian?
Am I a good enough daughter?
Am I a good enough sister?
Am I a good enough friend?
Am I a good enough coach?
My brain never shuts off and I'm constantly thinking about how I could do things better. How I can have more patience with my kids and with myself. How I can pray more and read my bible more. How I can call my parents and siblings more and spend more time with them. How I can make an effort to make plans with friends once in a while. How I can be there for my challengers and coaches on my team more to help them be successful in reaching their goals.
And I'm always just hoping that I'm doing enough. Can you relate?
I am a perfectionist so that's part of it. But I think the biggest part of it is that I put my whole heart into everything I do...but I have trouble just letting go of the things that aren't in my control.
But I also know that nobody is perfect. There will be people I disappoint. There will be people that won't like me. But I'm trying my very best to do good in the world....one decision at a time. One person at a time. And I think it's a good thing for us to keep striving to be better. Striving to be better doesn't mean that you're not good enough now. We should always be striving for progress (work in progress, right?)
I AM enough! Because I think the whole point of this life is to do your best to leave the world better....no matter how big or small the impact is. Treating people with kindness. Loving your neighbor.
